UK Archives - Sail Element

Regarding the Schengen Visa…

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One question – among many – that is easy to misunderstand with international law and diplomacy is the Schengen Visa system implemented in Europe. For people from the USA who have ever traveled for a few days or weeks at a time, this is not a problem. Most people never even come close to 90 days in one region other than their own home. But for those of us who have floating homes and spend significant amounts of time abroad, visas are a huge issue.

The Schengen Visa is an agreement among most of the European Union to allow “borderless” travel. This means, for instance, you can drive from Germany into France and you’ll see no more than a road sign that says “Welcome to Germany”… no border or passport checks. This is also pretty awesome for cruising around the Schengen Area. It makes checking in and out of countries easy and relaxed as long as you’re within that 90-day window.

However, there are a LOT of misconceptions about what happens when this 90-day clock starts to run out.

The newest wording of the agreement stands thusly (as of October 2013):
“The maximum duration of authorized stay is defined as 90 days in ANY 180-day period.”

The technical calculation of “90 days in ANY 180 day period” is explained like this, taken word for word from the European Commission Schengen handbook, AND restated to me by a Portuguese immigration officer:
“The notion of ANY implies the application of a ‘moving’ 180-day reference period, looking backward at each day of the stay (be it at the entry or at the day of an actual check), into the last 180-day period, in order to verify if the 90-day/180-day requirement continues to be fulfilled.”

In other terms, there is a rolling 180 day period starting from any day to 180 days back. A non-EU, non-Schengen citizen may only stay in the Schengen area with a “Short Stay Visa” (the normal passport stamp) 90 days during that period.

To explain further: say you are on your first day of staying in the Schengen Area, you just got your passport stamped. You have stayed 1 day in any 180 day period. Day One, looking 180 days back. Then you stay 90 days, and on that day, you leave (not on day 91, that would be overstaying). The next day is day 91 of that 180 day period. On the 181st day, the day you would be eligible to return, the counter does not reset! If you return on day 181, that 180 days is still rolling, but now you’re ticking off time from that first 90 days, meaning you can spend another 90 days. In this situation, the counter would always remain at 90, technically subtracting one and adding one every day.

The important thing to remember is that the days roll on: always 180 days back from the day you are on.

One factor that is commonly misunderstood is that some people believe there is some way to simply “reset” the Schengen Visa clock. Like, go out somewhere, get a stamp, and come back in and the clock resets? Let me restate something that I think people misunderstand:

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS “RESETTING” A SCHENGEN VISA.

It doesn’t exist. You cannot just leave and come back in and you get another 90 days.

There is only one way to legally stay in the Schengen Area after your 90 day time is up: an official long-stay visa from a Schengen member state would technically supersede the 90-day stamp. But, this process is not easy. It requires a lengthy and relatively expensive application process and almost always includes an interview at the embassy of a Schengen state.

I say “only one way to legally stay in the Schengen Area” but there is one alternative: the Portuguese Extension.

The Portuguese Option

Now, Portugal is a different matter. Yes, it is in the Schengen Area, but they have maintained a simplified visa extension system. It is possible only in Portugal (for the moment), but it requires a rather elaborate process. I have personally talked to one of the officers in charge of making the decision for such visas, and this officer explained that the deciding factor is usually based on need or extenuating circumstances.

I asked this immigration officer: “So, being stuck in Portugal in order to avoid hurricane season?” Their answer, although noticeably noncommittal: “This person would have a good chance to be given an extension.” I asked: “So, if someone just wanted to cruise around another season?” Their answer (after a sigh): “Every other factor would have to be exactly right…” (Referring to the extensive visa application process that includes proof of funds, background check, and etc, etc.)

At the time the visa extension is normally used for one or two 30-day extensions, but I’m not aware of – nor was my immigration contact – any cruisers who have tried to get three extensions. I mean, Portugal isn’t really that big, guys!

But, keep in mind, this particular visa extension gained in Portugal is NOT a Schengen Visa extension for the Schengen Area: the extension is for Portugal ONLY. If you are caught outside of Portugal with the Portugal extension, you will be in violation of the 90-day Schengen Visa.

So, how do you keep cruising after your 90-day in any 180-day is up? The Schengen Exile.

The Schengen Exile

Here’s how we dealt with our Schengen Exile:
We sailed from Ireland (outside Schengen) to France (in Schengen). We entered the Schengen Area in Brest, France. In Brest, we made certain we got our stamp into the Schengen Area stamped in our passports. We sailed down from France, Spain, Portugal, and Spain again. At the end of this time, we were getting pretty close to our 90-day limit, something like 83 days in the Schengen Area.

Then, we came to Gibraltar. (Gibraltar is the same as the UK: six months Visa-free for USA citizens.) We arrived to Gibraltar, and we had to go to the Frontier to have our into Gibraltar stamps put in our passports. This stopped the Schengen Visa clock with one week to go. So, now, we have to stay outside the Schengen Area for 90 days (technically, 90 minus one week because we were one week early). We are staying in Gibraltar for that entire period. (Maybe we bounce down to Morocco a time or two for a little variety, because it is outside Schengen Area, of course.) At the end of our “Schengen exile” we will be able to re-enter the Schengen area by getting a new Schengen Visa stamp in the passport. This will allow another 90 days of time.

Remember that 180 days rolling? We were in 83 days, then we stayed out 90. When we re-enter the Schengen Area, we will be chipping away at that time all the way back in March when we first came to France. And, we’re on our way to the USA, so we only need about 45 days of our second 90 day period to get out of the Canary Islands.

Conclusion

Confused much? Yeah, this stuff is thick. International law is really really complicated, but after looking at this stuff for years and years now, it actually does make sense. At least, it makes sense enough to know how to stay out of trouble.

The moral of the story is just don’t push it. Don’t try to outsmart the system just for a little fun or extra sailing time. The Schengen rules and enforcement of them are quite serious. It can mean your passport could get flagged at borders and denied entry. Some places will literally stamp a big “OVERSTAY” in your passport. The fines are serious. And/or you could be arrested and/or your boat impounded until it all gets straightened out!

Now, I suppose I should state that legal thing where I say, “I’m not a lawyer, so take this at your own risk.” I do hope it helps someone who is confused about how the Schengen Visa system works. And I hope that it will avoid some people getting in trouble in the future!

PS: The Schengen Visa a completely different situation from the EU VAT tax clock. That has nothing to do with you as a person, that has to do with your boat. For people who are interested in that, I can answer a few of those questions, too – email me. We don’t deal with it much because our EU VAT tax is paid. There is a fairly clear explanation here over at Noonsite. Their explanation of the Schengen Visa on the same page is slightly outdated, but it is accurate (practically speaking).

In the water at last: Proteus relaunching…

By: Noah D.

Proteus has now been in the water a full two days. Finally.

No joke, I’m sitting here at the salon table trying to work and I’m being gently rocked to sleep. The lines are creaking. The wind is whistling lightly. Yeah… two days.

We’ve been living in treehouse mode for about two weeks prior to our launch a couple of days ago. And for that time, we’ve had all the usual amenities on shore power except for the air conditioner (which we use in reverse cycle for heat and dehumidification) and normally flushing toilets. Oh, and it feels just like a treehouse: climbing up a ladder and a 15ft drop to the ground from the deck.

All things considered, though, it was a relatively nice way to move in. It made everything fairly convenient (except the climbing the ladder thing) and we both got a taste of what it was like before we had to worry about all the other things like keeping the boat tied to the dock and making sure it doesn’t sink.

The Relaunch

The relaunch, though, was one of the more bizarre things I’ve seen in a while. It isn’t that I’ve never seen huge boats being driven around by marina hoists – I grew up around this stuff – it is just that I’ve never seen MY boat being driven around by marina hoists. Any boats previously have just been large enough to drive around on a trailer and just back down into the water in a slipway. Alas, no more. It is on the scale of a minor industrial operation to move this boat.

All of Lynn’s and my “stuff” was being carried around and then dropped into the water.

But Proteus handled it as if it was no big deal. Just another day at the office for her.

Wow, now that’s a game face…

Coming into the berth for the first time.

Interestingly enough, with both water tanks full (150 gallons) and a full tank of diesel, Proteus still sits a few inches above her waterline. It is kind of nice to know, actually! Literally everything we own is in the boat and its cumulative weight (plus the two of us) doesn’t make much of a difference.

I’m interested to see what happens when we load up for a jaunt across the oceans.

A Little Jaunt

Proteus relaunching was such an exciting thing to witness, but simply floating is not the purpose of a boat. Without so much as a stitch of sail on the pole – it was only about 4-6kts of wind yesterday, anyway – we went a couple of hours down the river here and back to our berth. We called the Prince Philip Lock controller on Channel 68 and out we went!

One thing we found out about Proteus‘ cockpit dodger is that the front screen is a little difficult to see through. At times. It isn’t fogged at all, it is just a little glare-y and wrinkled. It would not be a problem if we were not looking for buoys. In the middle of the ocean, it probably will be just fine. That being said, my first major purchase or physical modification might be a hard dodger/windscreen.

That’s about it, though. I suppose the most exciting visual is the huge Orwell River Bridge. And some waterfowl. We went about halfway down the river to 52ºN and turned back, ahead of the rain. A total of 9 miles. I hope you’ll stay tuned for when we hit double digits. And triple digits. And quadruple digits. It won’t be long.

Stay tuned…

Proteus, the name…

By: Noah D.

The minute we had settled on the Proteus name, I got the vinyls made. They’ve been sitting in a box for almost the past month, but got the old name off and put the new name on.

Of course, they are a little larger than USCG spec, just to make sure. And we also settled on putting “Guntersville, AL” on the transom as our home port. A little home-town pride, perhaps? Definitely a conversation starter in a British marina.

The vinyls are just perfect – though simple – and spectacularly done. I shopped around a few different companies and opted to go with the uniquely named Funky Monkey Boat Graphics company. They’re a UK company and apparently have a great quality for a fair price.

I did my own design, though, and, if you blow up the photo, you can see there is a little drop shadow on there. Not exactly complicated, but the drop shadow uses a global light originating from 45 degrees forward of the bow: the drop shadow “drops” towards the aft of the boat on both sides… and on the rear, the drop shadow is directly underneath.

Simple, really. And probably nobody is going to ever notice it. Not all of design is making pretty logos: sometimes it is just thinking through its destined location.

In other news, we’re still on the hard and have been delayed a few days for technical difficulties with the marina hoist. When it comes to lifting our home, I’m not complaining that they take a little more time to get it repaired properly.

Stay tuned…
-Noah D.

Moving aboard…

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By: Noah D.

Pardon the lack of posts these days, but… we’ve been finally moving things aboard Proteus.

Honestly, I’m being better about posting to Twitter (@sailelement). And much of it I blame on the lack of stable internet for the moment… but that shall be rectified soon. Now a few nights in and we’re getting settled.

The exciting part is that everything will have its place. Finally. And if it doesn’t have a place, it doesn’t stay. It is starting to be an effective purging device for “extra stuff.” Moving aboard should be a liberating process, I think.

The shame of it is that we were expecting to put Proteus into the water this week, but due to the annual maintenance of the marina hoist, we have to wait a bit longer. Maybe a couple of days? I’m not complaining, though: when lifting 24,000lbs I really want the lift to work.

Otherwise… even though we are a few more days as a treehouse, it will allow for a few more projects to get done before the splash. For that, stay tuned…

On buying and registering a boat as an expat…

By: Noah D.

Now, there is absolutely no reason to take what I am about to say as any sort of legal advice. This is simply a record of my experience with the fact that I am a US citizen living in the UK on a visa, purchasing a boat in the UK, with the intent to keep (and use) the boat in the UK for an extended period of time… and then go sail it around the world. Eventually.

Contrary to what the forums would have you believe, it is not rocket science to purchase a boat overseas. The whole process is merely checking boxes. Is that an oversimplification? Not really, to be honest with you. All that matters to the guy checking all your documents is that you have all the boxes checked.

The problem comes with knowing which boxes to check. And, good lord, are they spread far and wide.

Purchasing a Boat

A boat or yacht, for the most part, does not fall under the typical categories of purchased goods. I say for the most part because in some instances a boat is a “possession”… in some places it is an “asset.” But lets not get bogged down in that quite yet. The thing to know is that purchasing a large(ish) yacht is somewhere between buying a house and buying a car. It is not a house because it is fully mobile, but it is not a car because it is even more mobile than a car and is governed by different laws (mainly related to international conventions). In more ways than not, you may compare a yacht purchase with the purchase of a private aircraft.

A US citizen can purchase a boat in the UK. Or practically anywhere in the world, for that matter. The exchange rate is fickle, but that’s one of the things that any expat will grow accustomed to. I strongly suggest dealing with a reputable broker, like our friends at Burton Waters in Ipswich, UK. A good broker can be your best friend in a complicated issue like this. They’ve done it hundreds of times and will do it a hundred more.

Dealing with a broker feels a little like dealing with a good name-brand car dealership. There should never be any high-pressure sales tactics or shady business going on. But the negotiation process will feel similar. My last car, bought new, cost literally less than a fifth of what Proteus costs, but the whole process seemed familiar and was handled in the same way. Offers are made, counter-offers are discussed after going behind closed doors with the business manager, etcetera etcetera.

The biggest factor with international yacht purchases will be the fact that you will be almost certainly turned down for a mortgage or a loan from a UK agency. As a US citizen on a visa, you’re just too much of a risk. (…unless, of course, you’re making heaps of money.) For all intents and purposes, wherever the money is coming from (personal loan, equity, boat mortgage) you’re going to be paying cash for it as a huge bank transfer. (NOTE: Lending agencies like BoatUS often have a policy in their fine print of only loaning money to boat purchased in the USA. Keep this in mind.)

Otherwise, the process is extremely similar to buying a boat anywhere, even at the boat dealer in your home town. After putting a security deposit down, you sign your “intent to buy,” you get the survey done from a licensed marine surveyor, you do sea trials, you agree to the terms of payment, you make the payment, you finalize the transaction, you get the paperwork and the keys to your new – or new to you – yacht.

Value Added Tax (VAT) and Sales Tax Considerations

The European Union and the European Economic Area have this thing called VAT. It is akin to sales and use taxes in the USA. However, what people have difficulty understanding is that VAT is a transaction tax tied to the importation of the thing (boat, camera, table, etc) into the EU/EEA. Thankfully, the powers that be have made this VAT a one-time thing when it comes to boats. So, with your purchase, you get a little piece of paper – essentially a receipt – that says that the VAT is paid on your boat and, as long as you do not keep it out of the EU for a really long time or resell it outside the EU, the VAT PAID status will stick.

Proteus, though she is a USA-built vessel, had her VAT paid by the previous owner when it was registered in the UK after being kept in Guernsey. (Guernsey, in the Channel Islands, is not technically in the EU.) That means that the boat is already imported, so the fact that the yacht is changing hands to a US citizen is largely irrelevant as far as HM Revenue is concerned.

We will get our comeuppance, however, when we decide to eventually move Proteus to the USA. On arrival – not on documentation or registration – the customs official is likely to have his hand out for us to pay a 1.5% import tax on the purchase value of the boat. That said, we MIGHT have some alleviation with this because the boat was originally built in Florida, but… I’m not going to get my hopes up.

Registering a Boat

Again, contrary to what the internet forums would have you believe, yacht registration mustn’t be so complicated. Nor must it be done with anxiety or lived with with insecurities. In brief, an American citizen cannot legally register a yacht in the UK. People out there will tell you that “As long as you have a UK address, nobody every checks.” Be that as it may, do you really want to gamble that? And there’s another factor…

The most important thing in dealing with registration/documentation is to have everything “look right.” And, by “look right” I do not mean doing anything to deceive anyone. This is what I mean: “A US citizen, with legal authority to live/work in the UK (visa), is on a boat which he legally owns and is legally imported into the European Union (VAT paid) and is legally registered with the US Coast Guard and the state in which he legally resides.”

Perhaps I’m being too by-the-book, but there is just so little to be gained from deceiving anyone: I could not care less about anecdotal evidence on forums. And, when cruising around Europe, I don’t want to be dreading the customs official raising his eyebrow at my helter-skelter registration paperwork.

So, all that said, here is what is legal for an American expat, buying and registering a boat in the UK. When you have all your paperwork (title, bill of sale, etc), document the boat with the USCG and register the boat in your home state with a US address. It takes a few days to get the paperwork through, but it isn’t too hard. You’ll have to claim a name and home port and have these inscribed on the hull. And the USCG will give you a documentation number that must be affixed to the interior of the boat somewhere.

Secondly, registering your boat in your home state shouldn’t be difficult considering the fact that most UK visas are not technically “residency” visas, meaning that you will maintain some legal residency in the USA. Most people stick with their parents for simplicity – and cheapness – sake. Anyways, to register the boat in your state, all you have to do is take the paperwork (bill of sale, title, etc) to the county courthouse and register it just like you would a little fishing boat or a daysailer. You’ll be given a sticker and a registration number. Here’s where it gets different: the sticker goes on the boat in a conspicuous location, but the state registration number is actually NOT LEGAL to put on a USCG documented boat. (I think it is better anyway: keep those ugly-ass numbers off the hull!) The only numbers that go on the boat is those that the USCG gave you for the interior. Mine are next to the nav station, glued on tightly.

As for off-shore registrations or LLC’s? Personally, I’ve never been to the BVI, but I could easily register my boat there. Still, some people swear by them as a practical alternative. I can’t help but feel like it is a tax dodge. I also don’t see it as “simple” because of all the following cost and tax oddities involved. The cost and frustration and legal maneuvering is definitely higher (at least every option I saw was). Is it legal? Yeah, I guess. But you might want to be careful next time you’re bemoaning Big Business CEOs for tax sheltering in the Caymans while your boat is flying the flag of Macau…

Insurance Matters

You guys slay me with all your non-insured boats out there. I tend to be a bit of a free spirit, but it just seems reckless. The problem comes from the fact that a US registered boat won’t be getting insurance from small-time UK insurance agencies anytime soon. I mean, it only makes sense. And not all US insurance agencies are going to insure a boat 5000 miles away. Your choices are limited.

Personally, we are with Yachtline. There are others, but we are more than pleased with them. They’re a major company, and I believe they’re backed by heavy-hitter Lloyd’s of London. And they’re very fair about our cruising range: pretty much the entirety of northern Europe and the British Isles from Brest to the Elbe. We pay less than 1% of the surveyed value of the boat per year for full coverage and liability. Paying a little bit (tiny, in the grand scheme of yacht ownership) a year or risk completely losing a six-figure boat that we love as much as Han Solo loves the Millennium Falcon? I just cannot justify the risk.

Another factor that came in to play was that I lacked my official International Certificate of Competence. Some insurers I talked to was wary of me because of this and a few gave me insultingly high quotes accompanied with severe range restrictions. If you’re an expat with a big boat in international waters, you’re certainly entering into specialty insurance and some insurer’s prices reflect this. I’m working on taking the RYA tests all the way up to Yachtmaster Ocean (even though I’ve been on the water most of my life), so at least that’ll be one more thing that cannot be held against me.

Accessory Registrations

Just like most places in the world, you’ll need your VHF registered with the FCC (for the US) which is accepted in the UK. This is one of those grey areas, too, but keeping all the registrations in the same country just feel a little less fishy to the guy checking your papers. The FCC has a surprisingly straightforward application process (for a government agency that regulates a very complicated thing). You should be able to get your call-sign and MMSI number with minimal suffering.

I mentioned it earlier in my insurance negotiations, but… The thing that is accepted everywhere, and I personally recommend, is all those licenses and yachtmaster classes to put towards your International Certificate of Competence. The RYA itself is a veritable treasure trove of information on all things boat education and, as a member, you have unlimited access to all their resources. There are tons of private (but RYA authorized) training centers in London alone. My personal favorite is CitySailing. Paul, there, has been amazingly helpful and I cannot recommend it enough.

Believe it or not, if you have a state boating license (required to operate a boat in most US states) it is looked upon somewhat favorably by the powers that be internationally. It certainly is not an ICC – not even close – but it is better than nothing!

Conclusion

In the end, it all comes down to the fact that you have a very expensive thing, capable of moving across international borders, and there must be a certain amount of regulation involved. The idea behind having such a ridiculous thing as a passage-making yacht is to actually use it and make some passage. Sailing under a US flag and having everything on board match that US flag will go far in making some little tiny South Pacific island customs agent feel like everything is above board. Have a US citizen ride in on a boat registered who-knows-where with a bunch of other things that don’t match…? Tell me, why shouldn’t you be detained for 4 hours while all the numbers are run through their Windows95 computers on a 56k dialup modem…?

As everything is in the internets, take everything with a few grains of salt (even this blog!), and go out there and figure it out yourself. Don’t take my word for it. Here’s a few links that will help you on your way:

MarineTitle.com – A Reference for US Coast Guard documentation and state registration information
US Coast Guard Documentation Center – information and forms for USCG documentation
HM Revenue & Customs – Sailing your pleasurecraft to and from the UK
US Customs & Border Protection – Importing a boat for personal use into the USA
Small Ships Register – Registering a boat in the UK
International Certificate of Competence – how to apply for an ICC

We bought a boat…

By: Noah D.

And, with shocking simplicity, we made the purchase.

Literally, a decade of dreaming and research has led to this.

And, as we were on our way home, the question, “Are you happy?” was raised. My answer sounds like a fortune cookie: Happiness does not come from the things we own, but the way we put to use the things we own. Cats can be happy with a cardboard box because they know how to play in them. But humans can be miserable with multimillion dollar mansions.

Happiness is our own responsibility, not the responsibility of anyone else or the things with which we surround ourselves.

Here we are, 42 foot sailboat in hand, doing everything we can to live our lives in a way that we will look back on it and say, “Wow, that was a great thing.”

Once I was the new guy…

By Noah D.

I came to London the first time in 2008. Since, then I have spent quite a bit of time here: coming up on one year with nary a break.

But I was once the guy on the street corner staring at a map. I had never been to St.Paul’s or walked from the Houses of Parliament to the Tower Bridge on either side of the river. I didn’t know the difference between Leicester Square and Covent Garden and Piccadilly Circus or Oxford Circus or what happens at those different places. Less than that, I didn’t even venture a guess at what a “Shoreditch” was or the best place to exchange money.

The expat community in London is quite large. I wonder how many take a little pride when a friend visits and says: “Could you show me around?”

I assure you, it doesn’t happen in small towns very often. You usually need a purpose to visit small towns. Not that they’re not friendly, of course, but why else would you go there?

Perhaps it is even a point of pride, but being in London and being on the streets this much puts me in a position of responsibility: a position of hospitality. It is certainly not a heavy burden, per se, but it is one I take seriously. If I can help someone have a good experience in “my town” then it is up to me to give it a shot… even if it is more walking than you’ve done in weeks. 🙂

But shouldn’t that be the way of the world? Not passing each other on the street with indifference, but almost as the monks do in their hallways, blessing each other and wishing each other well in their journey. To be unrealistic, should I not wish to bless each of the throngs of holidayers clogging the exit of Tottenham Court Road station? Should I not hope to wish the Random Stoppers as they walk along in a crowd and suddenly turn around to flow upstream like a salmon to spawn?

I’m being a little idealistic, but I have to wonder: why extend hospitality and illumination to only your friends on the rare occasion they come into town when you’re around dozens and hundreds and thousands of people every day who you might just be the light in their rather dark world.

If you’re ever in town, look me up. I’d love to show you around…

###

NOTE: In the interest of full disclosure, this post originally appeared here. I post it here because of its relevance to recent events and the fact that I, too, need to listen to my own thoughts from time to time.

Ireland experience…

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By Noah D.

So, in lieu of boat news at the moment–but of course that is coming along–we actually do go out and do things from time to time. Living in London, it would be an absolute shame not to explore a little of the region. In a matter of days, we decided to use a three-day-weekend wisely to the time we actually began our little excursion and we fully planned our getaway. By “planned,” I should mention, I use that term loosely: you’ll see why in a moment.

This particular time, we took a little trip to Ireland. Now I’d been to Ireland (and specifically Dublin) but this was Lynn’s first trip to the Land of Éire. Flights to Dublin from any number of the 291 airports in the London metro area cost in the £100 range per ticket. Including the cost to get out to whatever airport it might be (Heathrow costs as little as a few quid if you take the tube but the Heathrow Express from Paddington costs £20, Gatwick Express from Victoria costs £17 or so, etc) there must be a better way…

There is.

It is nice to get to sea somehow from time to time. There’s a RailSail double ticket that cost us just around £40 per person per way. The train goes from London to Holyhead in northwest Wales; then the ferry leaves from there to Dublin. The whole thing cost only £162 for the round trip for two people, taxes and such included. Certainly better than we could have done flying.

However, the cheap route comes with a little baggage. And not the rolling kind. I consider it a plus, actually, because it adds the feeling as though you’re actually traveling rather than teleporting from place to place in the metal tubes.

The first few hours after departing Euston Station in London, we stood with our stuff in the connecting area between train cars. Completely due to the fact that we were taking the train at one of the busiest parts of the week (Saturday morning at 9am), all the other travelers and commuters were on their way out of London to the north and to Wales. To fully grasp this, you must do it someday. Fifteen or twenty people with all their bags, and breakfast, and sweat, in a curved space about one meter wide and three or four meters long. But, to our advantage, we did have the bathroom inches away. Whatever advantage that might be.

We only stood or leaned or sat in this crawlspace for a little over an hour. Maybe ninety minutes. I think it was at Crewe there was a mass exodus and we got a seat for the rest of the trip. It is in these moments that people’s true nature shine. In the midst of so much calmness and resignation to the situation, there are spastic ninnies who seem to be unable to handle a bit of mild discomfort. Without giving them any more space than they deserve for now, I say to you: never be the spastic ninny.

One concern that every traveler must consider is when changing modes of transportation (for instance, rail to ferry or rail to airport) how far is one mode of transportation from the other and will there be an unforeseen middle mode of transportation. If you are traveling to France via Portsmouth Harbour, there’s a little connection to be made there that likely involves either a brisk walk or a brief taxi. Holyhead, on the other hand, requires a very brief stroll: the ferry terminal is literally inside the train station. It’s… like… a hundred meter walk.

Check-in was similar to checking in to any other ferry or airline terminal. Considering we were about to go to another country–the Republic of Ireland is not part of the United Kingdom–there was surprisingly lackadaisical security. I’m not actually sure I got checked. Our bag was checked like an airport and I’m sure it was scanned eventually, but otherwise, my “personal bag” was nigh untouched.

A brief bus trip took us directly onto the ferry. No surprises there.

The ferry itself was actually just fine. Most of these ferries are designed similarly and have the classic things most cruises have: cafeteria, a cafe, a bar/pub, a big sitting area, the outdoor areas, etc. And I’ve been on loads of ferries in my life, but this one might actually have one of the better foods I’ve had on board. Maybe I was just hungry, but I was pleasantly surprised by the non-microwaved quality of it. Kudos to you, Irish Ferries, on your realistic representation of a steak and ale pie.

Now, the next part of the story involves revealing something about my tendencies toward travel: planning is often optional. But more importantly, the use of “no plan” as part of the experience always–always!–ends up with some sort of experience worth telling. It ensures an anecdote. And here’s the one I built in for this little weekend getaway…

From the ferry terminal, we took a quick taxi to the airport to pick up a rental car. We wanted to get out of Dublin and see the countryside, and what better way to do that than to drive it. We would pick up a car and drive for a couple hours until we found a neat little town, and then find a quaint little bed-and-breakfast to settle down for the night. Of course, Ireland is famous for the astonishing number of these little bed-and-breakfasts all over the country, and why would it be any problem to find one with a vacancy?

I say, One Direction stole our beds. Or rather, their hoard stole our beds. How could we have known they were in town for a multi-day concert series and pretty much every bed in a 50 mile radius of the concert was taken! By the time we started looking, we were almost an hour outside Dublin. It took every bit of the next two hours to find a bed-and-breakfast with a vacancy by stopping at every place that looked occupied. Proof, again, that there are lovely people everywhere in the world… even at random, tiny pubs in the narrow roads of County Meath. Or perhaps I should say especially at random, tiny pubs in the narrow roads of County Meath: explaining our situation, the proprietor and few patrons at the bar started pitching in ideas and making calls. A few minutes later, we had lodging at the Isaac’s Well in Clonmellon in County Westmeath.

The landlady had just had surgery and could not provide us with the “breakfast” part of the bed-and-breakfast, but the accommodations were actually spectacular. Everything seemed fresh and new and the huge room and bathroom actually sparked the conversation: “What if we just stay here all weekend?”

And for €35, definitely not bad.

Oh, and about the money: The next morning was Sunday. We started looking for someone to check out, leave the key and pay for the room. There was no proper desk, of course, and the barman had just tossed us a key the previous night… and the bar was closed. Honor system it is, then! We left the money and the key on the table in the room and departed…

Oh, and one last thing before leaving this area of Ireland: if you’re ever near Kells, pop into the Keltic Bar by the Headford Arms Hotel (also full of One Directioners, btw). The kitchen had been closed a few minutes by the time we arrived, but the staff sat us down by the fire and went to get the cook who had just left. I’m not sure I’ve had this happen to me anywhere else in the world.

So… driving the countryside of Ireland now, we loaded up on road trip snacks and headed west. The internets say that Ireland is approximately the same size as the state of Indiana, so it takes just a couple of hours to drive all the way across it. Especially considering they’ve got a serious highway system that makes travel across the country pretty straightforward and fast. We made it all the way across the country to Galway long before lunch. To the north to the wilds of Connemara or to the south to Doolin and Dingle and the Cliffs of Moher and all those places people tend to find themselves while backpacking Europe.

To the north, it is!

We worked our way northwest. This area is just really brilliant. Really beautiful and craggy landscape. The grass and trees seem lightly laid on top of some ancient world, like the moss that sits just on top of rocks. The whole world could be peeled away.

You’ll notice, Lynn is making most of these photos. I was driving. It isn’t a forgiving road.

Having just come back from an assignment in the Republic of Georgia, I took an interest in the sheep. The sheep are completely different here than the ones in Georgia. (But that story is for another time.)

Traveling like this is a bit of a risk at times. For the person with their face in a guidebook, they probably won’t ever miss all the big stuff that we might have driven right past. But we still do okay, I think. Anything missed, we just have to come back and hit next time… but we don’t miss much.

Like the relatively insane Kylemore Abbey, for instance. If you’re randomly traveling through this sort of terrain and this thing pops up in the distance, you kinda go see what’s up. Turns out, it was one of the most elaborate and lavish estates in the British Isles. Even Kings have looked to it as a getaway home, but one famously decided against it citing the fact that even a king couldn’t afford such grandeur.

The story of the palace is legendary in the area and I dare not spoil it for you here. Best to visit and savor it all for yourself.

Now well into the afternoon, we must continue on.

Driving down the coast of Connemara, the landscape changed again. The huge hills (or “bens”) continued, but the coastline changed everything. Thatch-roof, stone cottages and a narrow road winding amongst ancient rock walls that end in the sea… I love unconventional landscapes and this was certainly one of them.

Returning to Dublin was quick. As much of a shame as it was to leave the brilliant countryside, we needed to get the car back to the airport.

Which brings up another topic: car rentals.

I though it would be nice to give the local company a shot instead of going with the huge giants like Hertz or Avis or Sixt. Well… I’m not sure I’ll be doing that again anytime soon. Found online on a typical travel site, it was the cheapest. But to get the same level of car, insurance, and GPS unit, we got our clock cleaned. I mean, properly reamed.

The dorky little car was a champ and actually moderately fun to drive on these crazy narrow roads, but the rental company (which I have intentionally neglected to mention) left a lot to be desired. Especially in the “hidden fee” category.

Looking back at it now, I probably should have known better, but what’s done is done. And why didn’t I just say “forget it” at the check-in desk instead of going through with it? Because unless you cancel within 24hrs of the booking, you gotta pay for the first day. Yep, ya got me, friend. Shame on me.

Not really the feeling you want to go away with, is it…?

Anyways, all that aside, the rest of the trip (post-credit card melt-down) was just fine. Dublin is a neat little town. It is manageable and can be walked across in a really short amount of time. Most of the sites can be seen in a single day.

What is worth visiting? I’d say the Jameson Distillery or the Guinness Storehouse should be on the top of your list. Even if you aren’t interested in the libations, these–along with similar places like the Jack Daniels Distillery in Lynchburg, TN–are single-theme museums that do one thing really well: tell you how a very specific product is created from start to finish. Where some museums spread themselves too thin, these types of educational tours break down a process and show you how something is done. And they do it around all the original equipment. There’s a fair amount of propaganda, but what do you expect: that said, the tour staff are cute and funny about that fact, interacting with their groups and keep it from being boring. And, of course, there are taste-testing moments throughout… which means you’re actually getting a little more for your money than the average walk-through museum.

See also? The Kilmainham Gaol (pronounced “jail”) and the Zoo are usually biggies on the tourist map. The Dublin Castle might be worth poking your head into, but it costs a bit and I’m not sure everybody gets their kicks in such places (loads of local history… and… not much else). Other things to stop by might be Trinity College or the National Museums and the famous churches (like St.Patrick’s).

Public transportation is really easy to figure out and it covers most of the town, but I don’t think we used it much: it is so easy to walk around.

One thing that I did when I visited previously: I took the hop-on-hop-off bus tour and saw pretty much everything worth seeing in the town in a single afternoon. It was so simple and I remember it being shockingly cheap back in 2008. When I looked at the prices this time, I was a little disappointed that it had jumped so high (in the €20 per person range). Such is the way of things…

Undeniably, the pub culture is alive and well. Pay attention to which tourist map you pick up because there is actually one that is the Nightlife Edition, marking every pub, nightclub, and bar in central Dublin. It doesn’t do much for you if that’s not your thing, but…

We stayed at the Fleet Street Hotel right there at the Temple Bar. Pretty solid hotel and there was no beating the location. Here’s the trick, though: the original purpose of staying outside of Dublin the first night was driven by the fact that I noticed that Friday night or Saturday night hotel bookings in the city were astronomical. Serious sticker shock. It turned out this was entirely driven by One Direction masses. And the hotels made bank.

“It couldn’t have been that much of a difference…” you say? Oh…

Here’s an example: I (unscientifically) found the average Friday and Saturday night bookings in a central Dublin hotel costing around €200-€250 per night. On Sunday night, the exact same hotel dropped to €80. By Monday: €65. For one night, it would have cost us more than what we spent for our whole two night stay (since we stayed Sunday night through Tuesday morning).

I mean, I don’t blame them. If screaming fans are going to pay ridiculous prices to see this year’s fad pop band, they’re also going to fork out the cash for the hotel in which to swoon in post-ecstatic fervor. But, we’re also not going to pay that. Pay attention, travelers, to who or what is going on in town.

The return trip was a bit exhausting, by the way. I’m sure they have their reasons, but our only option on the return (at this price category) was to be up all night. The travel consisted of the ferry trip across the Irish Sea to Holyhead, a lengthy wee-hour vigil in the Holyhead train station, and then the last little jaunt back into London. We arrived at Euston during the eight o’clock hour, just in time for a little nap and Lynn getting to work at noon.

No biggie. As intense as sitting up in a train station from 2am-4:45am might sound, it really is about par for the course when traveling… pretty much anywhere. Yes, it is fully possible to treat travel just like a trip to Disney World complete with normal waking hours and almost luxurious accommodations. Traveling like that requires, believe it or not, vast amounts of money. The rail, airlines, and hotels know this. Just like they know people will fork our thousands of $/€/£ for a weekend at a concert, the prices reflect this. On the other hand, there are times and routes that don’t require a huge pocketbook because, at the same time that the travel companies jack up the prices when it is obvious they corner the market, the same companies will have wildly lower-cost travel options, too. Which means it is fully possible to travel on a budget, you just have to realize that there are sacrifices to be made in the name of comfort.

Basically that’s all it is: comfort. You’ll still get there, but you might have to stand part of the way. You’ll still get there, but you might have to stay up late at night. You’ll still get there, but you’ll have to take just a little bit longer to get there. And, you’ll also have somewhere to stay, whether you have to make your own bed up and bathe in a community shower, that’s part of the trade-off for cheapness.

If I make a concession, I usually err on the side of a little more money for accommodations. Travel from place to place doesn’t need to be that comfortable and I can stay up late. But I kinda like my own space, moderate privacy, and know that my stuff isn’t going to be stolen when I leave it in the room to see the sights.

So there… Dublin.